It has begun.

So there is no doubt about it...at this point it is full steam ahead with taking the LSAT and applying to law school. Wow. What a decision that has been! Actually, the actual decision was pretty easy-it was the steps leading up to it that were slow and calculated. Where I live, there are only two law school options. I visited both, because I was, afterall, turning over stones, right? I will ultimately apply to both, but I suspect one will be much more difficult to get into. I learned that both schools are getting over 4,000 applicants, accepting around 1,000 (this number could be way off, I really don't remember), and then having about 150-200 actually matriculate. Wow, those numbers are daunting. Its a formidable challenge.

As I guided my minivan into the law school parking lot, I took a deep breath. I was much more nervous than I thought I would be. I didn't think anyone would be judging me, and I wasn't worried about being embarassed or anything, it was just the shear sense of doing something. I was finally doing something - something for me. On top of that, I have been talking about doing this (in various forms) since I was 6 years old. Today was the day! I walked up to the admisions building and tugged on the oversized handles. It seemed like they were HUGE for affect. I pulled open the doors, and as I walked over the threshold, I felt different. I had done it. I had taken the step toward something big. Whether or not I will get in, or even decide to actually attend, are decisions for the future. For now, I had entered. It had begun.

One, a tier three school, is very close to my home and near where my kids go to school. This would involve a five minute commute. No kidding. The class I sat in on was a Contracts class, a first-year-everyone-takes-it kind of class. I had looked up the professor, because that's the kind of chick I am, and found that he had graduated college the year after me. So, I wouldn't necessarily be the oldest person in the room. The best part about sitting in on the class was that I didn't feel like a complete fish out of water. In seeing real students, doing real work, and getting a 'feel' for what the experience might really be like, I could see myself doing it as well. Yes, the instructor used the Socratic method, but it wasn't to humiliate the student. He was casual in his method; using regular discussion techniques, with which I was accustomed. No horror here. I followed along with what they were doing quite well. Whew! Funny, in that he was describing three definitions regarding landlord-tenant relationships, and I had first hand experience with all three. That has to count for something. I was comfortable and relaxed at the school. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to oversimplify the experience. It will be significantly challenging, no doubt about that, but I had a feeling that they weren't speaking another unknown language. Wow, maybe I can do this afterall, I thought.

So the very next day, I visited my other local option. This school is one in which I would not have probably gotten into had I applied 20 years ago. This is a tier two school, one which is trying to boost itself into the 'big 10.' I was enamoured by the pretty campus, the ivy buildings, and the fact that it exists on an undergraduate campus. The building is brand new with technology that will knock your socks off. It was really what you imagine law school to be like. The class I audited, Torts, was larger, and more formal. The students seemed friendly, and in fact, several actually stopped me to talk. During the discussion, the professor was talking about product liability, and when a cost outweighs the ethical need to make a change in a corporate scenario. He placed a memo on the screen from the Ford Motor Company from the late 1970s. I laughed out loud, which seemed really inappropriate. He spoke about the trouble Ford got into with the Pinto. I was giggling to myself as I not only knew about the Pinto, it was my first car! I wondered if anyone in the room (inclusive of all 80 students) had ever even ridden in a Pinto, much less owned one! It struck me again, that maybe some of my life experiences might actually help in learning and ultimately praticing law. The instructor sat with me for almost 15 minutes after the class. I felt comfortable, but a little bit out of range at this school. Attending this school would be more of an academic reach for me, as well as it is 30 minutes from home. I know this distance is doable, but when you subtract the 10 hours a week for driving, it really does stack up- time I won't be able to spend studying.

One thing that struck me about both classes, which I would not have forseen, is that every single student had a laptop. Ok, you are thinking, uh, no kidding, Carol, (I am using one right now). The funny part was that once the professor (in both classes) began speaking, the students were pecking away at their computer pads and therefore not looking at the teacher. This was odd to me, in that usually the instructor gets clues to the discussion, or at the very least uses the students' eye contact or furrowed brows to indicate or change the flow of the lesson. This was a new phenonmenon for me, a change in the classroom dynamic. I used a typewriter in college. Settle down, it was an electric typewriter- sheese I am not THAT old!

So who knows what will come of this? I have enrolled to take the LSAT in December. I began an online live LSAT prep class. Its really hard. I think there is a hole in my brain where the so-called 'logic games' knowledge should be. I hope the course will help me attack these. I rock at the reading comprehension questions, do so-so on the 'regular logic', but suck on the logic games. These are the ones like this: Joe gets on the bus and can't sit next to Sally but has to sit next to Susie and only rides on Wednesdays... ack! I am told there is a method for attacking these, so we'll see. I am already seeing an improvement-its amazing what doing 25 hours of preparation in a week can begin to do for you (yes, did you detect my sarcasm there?) ... so we'll see. I just plan to pour myself into it, and do my very best, whatever that may be.

The online live class is cool. The company sent me texts and headphones. I log into the class, which takes place at a certain time. The instructor talks, we can hear him, and then we use emoticons to answer questions. There is also a chat room (I knew my fast chat room typing skill would come in handy for SOMEthing!) where you can ask and answer questions. Its really cool. After the class, the transcript is available online to review or to sit through if you miss a class. So far its working out great. The instructors keep saying it will get easier, I sure hope they are correct. Right now it takes an unbelievable amount of time to work through the problems. It is very tedious and strenuous. We'll see. I am trying to keep a postitve outlook and know that this is just another step in the process to doing what I want to do. One evening, the instructor said (and yes this is an actual quote), "Once you see the answers, its easy to pick the correct one." I just laughed and laughed, gee thanks Jason, I hope that rubs off on me, and sooner than later, please. Ha ha (By the way, I suspect that he meant that the wrong answers would become much more evident the more experience and practice we have with the exam questions. I just thought it was hilarious. Its like thinking Alex Trebeck is really smart- well, yeah he can READ the answers!)

So while this blog entry isn't full of insights, it illustrates the beginning. I have moved forward and have begun the tasks at hand. It feels liberating, and scary and tiring and exciting all at once. My family is being really cool and helping out alot. That helps tremendously. Oh, silly story... Sam (10 yr old) said to me the other day, "Mom, so if you go to law school, are you going to go to Temple?" To which I replied, "Uh, Sam, where is Temple?," He said, "Philly." I said, "Where do we live?" He said, "Harrisburg." So I said, "Sam, how would that work?" He said, "You could get an apartment and we could visit you." It cracked me up. He went on the say that Dad could take him to school and feed them and take care of the stuff I do. It was incredibly cute. On the one hand, I was like Oh thanks Sam, like I am so replaceable, on the other hand I thought it was cool that he would think that I could/should do something for myself. Maybe in a small way, it was his vote of confidence. We'll see, it will be a long road, whichever one I take.

Thanks for sharing this experience with me.